Five-a-side football

This is a purely self-indulgent post for me to look back on in fondness as my footballing career returns to its usual level of semi-mediocrity. Last night I was on fire with five - if I may say so - very well taken goals.

There was nothing to suggest it would end up like this - in warm up my shooting was as wayward as ever, although towards the end I started placing the ball and felt the sapping lack of confidence as I went to strike it disappearing. And if I'm honest, I suspect my "best ever performance in the Colchester area" was probably triggered off by a fluke - goal number one was a sweet volley from a superb cross that dropped perfectly in front of me about two to three yards from goal, but I suspect there was more luck in the timing than design. Nevertheless, it gave me a welcome boost, and goal number two was anything but lucky as I burst through the middle shimmied right, then left around two players and slotted the ball into the bottom corner.

My hat trick goal was possibly the best finish - the ball came across to me on the left-hand edge of the area and I took one touch then blasted it into the net off the bottom of the bar. It was the best finish because I was under pressure, but instead of snatching at the shot, I was in the "zone", and able to fire it off a split second before the challenge came in.

Goal number four was a breakaway - we were winning comfortably by then, and six-a-side on a large pitch made for lots of gaps, particularly when their keeper took it upon himself to go waltzing down the pitch - he was dispossessed and I was able to slot it in from a tightish angle.

The final goal was good in that I started the move down the left, slipped the ball infield and then nipped across the area behind the back line to accept a return pass on the right-hand side before slotting home.

It wasn't all good news - I provided the perfectly weighted back pass for one of their players to nip in and slot the ball home (although I did make up for this later by clearing the ball off the line as the last defender), and my goalkeeping was as usual erratic at best, and woeful at worst. But I kept going - I even managed to get back to provide a modicum of defensive cover at times, and we won comfortably. I'll be dining out on this for years, and this post will hopefully help me remember the facts rather than the hyperbole ("My first goal was a sweet volley from the halfway line")...