Tired

That's how we feel this morning. Harriet Rose still hasn't really developed a night-time routine. On Saturday night we went to bed early, and she finally went down at 10pm, surfacing twice (12am and 4am) for feeds overnight, which is how we'd ideally like her to behave. Sadly last night she was restless from 10pm to 2am, and sadly I'm not handling it very well. I took her downstairs and she did drop off in my arms, but as soon as I put her in her cot she was off again, and this time no amount of cajoling, threatening or ignoring would make her stop. Eventually Toni came down and gave her the first of an extended feed. Eventually, exhausted, we all fell asleep at 2am, with one break at around 4am.

It can be hard retaining perspective in the middle of the night when you're knackered and your child won't calm down for love nor money (hmm, I've not tried money yet). As a result, I wake up guilty for over-reacting - thankfully I've not reached the point where I think I'll do something stupid (instead, I put her down in the cot and walk away for 30 seconds), but I can see why some people are driven to do things they regret.

We're being impatient - she's only 25 days old, after all - but underneath is a fear she'll be niggly for years rather than weeks. I'm determined we won't subvert our lives for her sole benefit - that she will have to give as well as take (for her benefit as much as ours - I don't want to bring up a spoiled, self-centred brat!) - but at 1am in the morning faced with a screaming baby, it can feel a million miles away...